What “they” don’t tell you about motherhood

Listen up my friends, I’m here to tell you about some random things I’ve learned since being a mom and instill you with my wisdom.

You know the saying “you’re eating for two now”? Yes its true, but don’t, I repeat do not think its ok to eat like you are two people. That little baby growing inside of you is only, on average, coming out 7 lbs so when you realize you’ve gained 50 it’s not just the baby. I know that reality all to well with my first born.

Also, unless you want to freak out and/or be paranoid your entire pregnancy don’t read the famous “What to Expect When Your Expecting”, it’s like having a cough and then diagnosing your self on WebMD.com. It will give you the worst case scenario (Cancer) and you don’t need that in your life.

I remember when I was pregnant with my first daughter, other moms would tell me all kinds of things about being pregnant; the usual your boobs get bigger along with the belly, the stretch marks, the morning sickness etc., but they never ever tell you about the after birth stuff, the gross stuff….  Ya know what?  I’m not going to either. I’m just going to leave that up to your imagination.

However, your milk coming in, it is by far the craziest thing. When your milk comes in your boobies look like they just underwent an augmenttion by Dr. 90210 (*disclaimer this is coming from a small breasted woman). It’s bonkers and it feels like there’s a 10 lb weight just sitting on what are now rock hard boobs. It’ll all buff out and you’ll look and feel somewhat normal again, but just be forewarned.

Now moving on to actually having a baby in your arms. Did you know both girls and boys can pee straight up while laying on the changing pad?!? Just some food for thought. Or that they can be so wiggly that they’ll actually manage to roll as a newborn. Both those discoveries freaked me out! I made it through though.

image

Toddler years your children will be just like you. Remember when your parents would tell you they can’t wait till you have kids. They are preparing you for the fact that how ever you behaved as a child, your children will too. They will be you through and through and it will drive you crazy. I am a very stubborn, impatient person and ya know what? so are my girls. Hopefully you have some good traits that you can pass along to your children, if not… EEK!

Everyday you’re going to think your child is the only one that doesn’t eat anything, throws temper tantrums in public, chooses to wear the most ridiculous clothes out in public, doesn’t listen, etc. But that’s just not true! They all do those things and we as mothers are trying our best, and whether or not you think you’re doing this mom thing right, you are.

image

 Happy Mother’s Day